Resilience

Resilience: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to change or misfortune. Asperberger's does not allow for the first part but it amazing how resilient my Aspie can be to misfortune.

Today my favorite 10 year old Aspie tried to find some kids to play with as it is his last day of summer vacation. It didn't work out so we decided to spend the day shopping for new shoes and catching a movie. He really wanted to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green. I wasn't super excited because I wasn't necessarily in the mood to cry! And cry I did. Sob is more like it.

All through the movie I kept thinking of the review I had read in a magazine just the day before. It was something along the lines of... good attempt at telling a story, however, filled with too many overly preachy moments...the line that sticks out most in my head 'we get it, bullying is bad'! I wish more than anything I could meet the person who wrote that review. I would love to find out if he/she has children and if so if he/she by any chance has the wonderful fortune of being blessed with a child that is different than the masses. My guess is I doubt it.

So back to Resilience. I am so grateful that he has the ability to bounce back after misfortune. Sometimes it is because he is not able to read the social clues and isn't even aware of his misfortune. Other times he is more aware than I realize and when I say, "chin up my sweets, it is they that are losing out" he will reply, "it's me losing too Mom, I'll try harder next time".

Today is the day before he starts 5th grade. Last night he already had a panic attack about PSSA's, they happen in March. He is however very excited to get back to school and he's my resilient Aspie.

The Great Sac removal

A few days ago I noticed what appeared to be a cocoon or sac of some type attached waaaaaaaay up high on our family room wall. I stared and stared at it. Consulted a friend visiting about her thoughts on it. It was concluded I should remove it immediately before I was attacked by thousands of spiders. Spiders. The very thing I am most scared of in this world. Goosebumps covering my body just typing the word. After my super smart friend left, I did what any normal person would do. Spent hours of my life googling what could possibly be attached to my wall. Not feeling researched enough, I resumed the quest for identification today. I was getting no where but had manged to convince myself I was dealing with a very dangerous spider situation. Out to the garage for the ladder I went. At this point I peaked the interest of three little men ranging in ages from 10-7. Ladder is now set up and I go to climb it and lose all the courage. I was screaming and basically acting like the cliche girlie girl. Well you never saw three little chests puff up faster in all your days. In the end, it took all three of their efforts to bring the scary sac thingy down. During the removal there were many screams by only me of course. It looked very sticky and I was convinced it was going to rupture and thousands of spiders with huge eyes, hair and shiny fangs were going to attack us. Once it was down my little chivalrous crew did what any crew made up of two 10 and one 7 year old would do...they took it outside to cut it open. And guess what they found as I hid in the house watching through a window...they discovered it was...GUM!!! At which point my 7 year old turned several shades of red and said..."oops, I guess I missed the trash"

Alternate universe

Today was so fantastic I can hardly contain myself!!! People, I can not tell you how different my body feels at 9 o'clock on this gorgeous summer night. Normally I have burning eyes from stress and periodic bouts of crying, tight face, neck and back muscles from stress and several rounds of restraining. But not today...today was the rare golden nugget day. The day that keeps me getting out of bed everyday. My boys slept until 10 & 10:30. Opted out of going to a stream outing with others In favor of playing Lego's with each other. They played for HOURS! We made homemade clay, sculpted, played catch, went on a hike, swam, they played together some more. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to most but it is HUGE! Not one time today did Nick flip out, have an "attack", I don't even know if he ticked! He laughed! He sang! Parker laughed and got to enjoy time with his brother. The best part was Bob's schedule changed at the last minute keeping him working from home for one more day allowing him to see the golden nugget day as well. The one precious day that shows up out of the blue where Tourette's and Aspergers do not rule our world. I am so unbelievably grateful for this day 💜


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Sibling love/hate

For all intensive purposes I am an only child (explains a lot, right?). I have a half-brother but only lived with him for a short time when I was very young and I have three step-sisters but didn't gain them until I was in my late twenties. Due to this, I genuinely have trouble understanding sibling relations. I don't understand why they can't just walk away, I don't understand why they can't look out of the same car window. It's like they are each others own toxic addiction.

Today has been one of those unbelievably hard days. One that you would have to have an Aspie to understand. Days like these I sort of feel like I'm in some crazy dream. Your happy and laughing one minute and being chased by a crazed axe murderer the next. Up down, up down. After a day like this, I am drained. Physically and emotionally and it will take all I have to make it through bedtime. What never ceases to amaze me though is Parker's love for his brother and his ability to just bounce right back after an afternoon of serious physical and verbal torture. He went from crying hysterically from some very cruel words and a strong punch to having a James Bond style water gun battle on this chilly afternoon. I wish I bounced back like him. Life lesson to learn from my six year- don't take it so personal.

Best Weekend of My Life

This weekend my husband took Nick on his first full weekend fly-fishing trip. It was by all accounts a very successful trip. Nick even told Bob on the way home it was the best weekend of his life. Am I jealous...ABSOLUTELY, but I know a boy needs his Daddy time. (Doesn't mean I have to like it)

Stupid, stupid, stupid test

This week is PSSA week for my fourth grader. I realize many children are affected by standardized tests, hopefully not many to the level of our house.

Our affectedness began about two weeks ago. It took me some time to put the pieces of the elevated tics and outbursts puzzle together but I got it. Plus the emails from his teacher describing his anxiety attack during a session discussing the exam clued me in. Thank the Lord he does not attend a school that has PSSA centered teaching and they don't make references to it regularly.

So today was Day One of the stupid exam. My child is fortunate enough to be given his exam in a private room with a scribe on hand if needed. Even with all of that and having parents that laugh at the pointlessness of the stupid exam, he still cried all day and made himself physically sick. Nobody talks about how Tourette's can often come with a side of extreme perfectionism. It's more fun to talk about the bad words shouted in the most rare cases. No one wants to hear about the all to common crippling mental tics.

I know that I am really offending some people by calling the exam stupid. For the record, even if my child did not have special circumstances I would still refer to it as STUPID! I seriously don't understand the point of these tests and what they are really used for. If you need one long ass exam to let you know if your child is performing at an acceptable level then I feel you are not involved enough in their education. If the school needs the exam to realize the child is not performing properly or they have potentially shitty teachers then they as an institution are not involved enough.

Really, what is the point of these exams?

If you make it through standardized exam time with little to no effect on your family, make sure to give thanks and hug your child.

If you are a family like ours, give thanks for your fabulously unique child and hug him or her extra tight.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Gasp!

This weather is so ridiculously fabulous! I'm trying to make sure we take full advantage of it just in case Mother Nature decides to throw us a curve ball before Spring officially takes hold.

Today I surprised the boys at pick up with two things, Taylor and a trip to Devil's Den.

This is HUGE because Devil's Den is my "Mommy GASP" thing. All Mom's have them. It's the thing that makes you go, "GASP, GASP" in quick succession. Some Mom's do it at the play-ground. Some do it when 4-wheelers are around. Heck, some just do it when there kid moves an inch. Being a boys Mom, I've learned to roll with a lot of things. I don't "GASP, GASP" too often. I'm pretty big on natural consequences. But Devil's Den, that's a whole other story. Just the sight of those rocks and my palms start sweating, my heart begins pounding in my chest. I thought today would be different. I had given myself a good pep talk and I had Taylor with me. How bad could this be? I'm cool (although my oldest says that means Constipated Overweight Out of style Loser these days). I'm not sure I even made it a full minute before the shear panic set in. I tried. I really, really tried. I am embarrassed to think of how many "GASP, GASPs" came out of my mouth. Eventually I took refuge in a fetal position against a rock(not really, but I swear I was close to it),  snapped some pictures and counted the minutes until we could leave. They better remember this day!