Thanks, I guess

I've decided that 2012 is the year I will embrace my "luck". By "luck", I mean the insane amount of 'it could only happen to me' incidents. Or, if it's going to happen it will happen to me incidents. I usually take these little life burps as I like to call them in stride. However, I've been known to after months of burp after burp get a tad overwhelmed. A friend recently noted that perhaps I am inviting chaos into my life...I'm sure she's right but I'm not sure I know how to stop inviting it! Today I had two such burps.

1. I discovered that for the past several months I have been kindly paying someone living in the Williamsport, PA area's cable bill. Thank you Comcast for entering my information under their file. Thank you Comcast for arguing with my voiced suspicion. ;-p Thank you Comcast for promptly investigating and refunding my bank account. I feel bad for the person that is going to be told they owe several months worth of cable bills cause Comcast is RIDICULOUSLY expensive!

2. Pip, the pain in the butt beagle went for a booster and a Lyme's vaccination today. After which I dropped her off and did my afternoon pilgrimage to Gettysburg. I came home to find her rigid and shaking uncontrollably with crazy amounts of drool pouring out of her mouth. Rush her back to the Vet, where she received an IV of meds, shots of steroids and some disgusting vitamin concoction that stunk like you would not believe. So she's allergic to one of the shots she got earlier in the day and in two weeks when she gets a Lyme's booster we will get to see if it is that one. Fun times.

Dear Random Citizens

I feel FANTASTIC today after having been knocked out by some wicked virus. To celebrate my exuberant mood I had myself a little car party. On the way to school we jammed to parent approved playlists but on the way home I listened to the the uncensored playlist. Now when I have a car party, I tend to also think I'm magical and have some invisibility cloak around my me. Guess what- it doesn't work. Murphy's law guarantees the day you plan to act like an absolute idiot in your car you will hit EVERY stinkin' red light and cross walk between your travel points.

1st point of humiliation I was having a serious Voice tryout to 'Brass in Pocket' at a red light ...I notice a young gentleman pointing and laughing so hard he may have hit his head on the steering wheel- to him I say, "You are welcome for me starting your day with a sight you can laugh about ALL day".

2nd point of humiliation I was almost home but had to stop for a sweet little lady crossing the street. By this point I had my window down, I mean it's like 70, and unfortunately had my music at a level shamefully inappropriate for someone my age AND it was Eminem. To this lady I say- "I'm very sorry for possibly taking some precious time from your life. I do not want you to 'shake that ass for me'."

 I may have to go to therapy to erase her frightened look from my memory.

Figures the next song on the play list was 'Luckenbach Texas'. Damn Waylon Jennings, where were you when I needed you.

Wow, I just remembered we have a blog!

It has been FOREVER since I've posted on our  happenings...so much to tell I'm not sure where to start...I think until I decide how I want to use our blog again I'll post some pics from the last several months

Quick tidbit for today before the picture show....When you can't find your cell phone don't waste time looking for it. Go straight to your dumb, dumb beagle and you will find it being chewed to pieces- Perfect

One of THOSE days

After a beautiful morning of soccer we stopped at Target. Oh you could see the anticipation in their eyes. Poor things thought I might be surprising them with a toy purchase. To their dismay we ended up in the cleaning supply isle. Why are we here their little defeated minds asked. Well I said, I need some new cleaning supplies because I am sick of the dust 3 inches thick on the lights and ceiling fan. Plus I want a new mop for the hardwoods and...then Nick so politely interrupted me by saying, OK Mommy, we get it. It's going to be one of THOSE days. I just quietly finished gathering my supplies and proceeded to check out. What I wanted to do though was yell,  YES, IT IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS! I woke up and didn't know which chin to say good morning to and some how my jeans shrunk and cleaning makes me feel better Mr. Smarty Pants! Then I felt guilty for having that thought and let them get slushies.

And the funnies keep on going...

Oh Universe, you are HYSTERICAL!!! Here's a short re-cap of my last 24 hrs...
1. ran to Target last night for needed school supply and let Houdini dog out of kennel since he opens it anyway. came home to find 2 burners on my stove on because he apparently could smell the ridiculously small dried up amount of chili and thought he would heat himself up a little snack.

2. woke at 3am to SCREAMS on my deck. Sherman the naughty cat must have escaped one of the millions of times Houdini dog opened kitchen door to let himself in and was being beaten alive by some evil cat.

3. watched riveting t.v. on TV Land, finally fell back asleep somewhere in the 5-6am time frame, slept through my 6:45am alarm and woke in a panic at 7:15.

4. in kindest tone I could muster SCREAMED at boys to PLEASE(that makes the screaming o.k.) get dressed and come down for breakfast-which just to add to my Mom guilt tank they did without one complaint. Damn good kids.

5. Rush said darling angels through breakfast, vitamins, teeth brushing, lunch packing and we are in the car by 7:55. I should have known where my day was headed not only by how cooperative they were being but by how unusually calm Houdini dog was for the ride.

6. We hit some slow traffic, couldn't get upset since we've gone almost an entire month of easy travel. Arrived at school 8:27 and guess what...TWO HOUR DELAY!!! Yep, you know that day they gave you a slip of paper about the first week of school right when all hell was breaking loose in my house...so what to do. Long drive home or stick around. I've got dog with no collar on and no leash in car thanks to someone that removed it and didn't put it back(won't mention names). I have on a lovely outfit of 2 feet too long bell bottom yoga pants, tye dyed peace sign t-shirt and some fabulous I've been sick so kiss it greasy hair...decided the only option was of course to go to Wal-Mart.

7. Wal-mart. park, roll down windows for dog, lock car and start in. 10 steps later howling from dog but keep walking. hear one of those "oh my" from a stranger and just know it's about my dog so I turn. Cooper is half in car and half hanging out of car. Perfectly coiffed hair mom with child in full no germ is going to get from this cart to my child is glaring at me. I hold my head a tad higher than it should be held, avoid the urge to say something to judgy pants and march back to my car with two boys that are still being waaaaaay to nice.

8. release dog, make windows higher so he can't squeeze through and give dog a lecture about how sorry I am, that I know it's no fun but it's really out of my control at this point. I feel a little hand on my shoulder and Nick says," Mommy, you do realize you are talking to a dog"...I finally just laugh and thank both boys for not once complaining and they each said it was no big deal, we make mistakes and we think it's kind of funny. Huh, guess maybe I have taught them a thing or two. Now where's my Ritalin???

Darth Vader

Being a Mom when you are sick absolutely sucks. No way around it, it sucks. Being a Mom when you are sick and your husband travels constantly sucks even more. What's incredible is having a 9 year old tell you that you are breathing like Darth Vader and kick into gear to help. He knows all the steps we go through when someone is sick so he got right to it. Ginger-ale, check. 8 million tissues, check. Vick's, check. Favorite blanket, check. Off to bed he sends me offering to watch his brother until Daddy got home.( even though I had to hang up on a friend a few moments earlier because said child was going to attack darling little brother) Luckily Bob's flight was early and he was home by 5:30.
 Now the 6 year old...he's on an entirely different nurturing level. First it was...NO WAY IS MY DUMB BROTHER GOING TO GET ME A SNACK, I ONLY LIKE THE BANANA THE WAY YOU PEEL IT! HE PEELS IT TOO FAST!...Then, Nick being the ever clever child told Parker who happened to lose his first tooth today that if refused kindness the tooth fairy wouldn't come. Parker fell for it and Nick proceeded to set up crafts for them to do with Bob. Nice messy crafts for Daddy-hee, hee, hee! Parker painted a lovely clock for his room and Nick is working on making a solar system model out of paper mache. Now I am going to shut my lap top off, add a fresh layer of Vick's and laugh my ass off watching Bridesmaids again.

Whew, it's just normal

Tonight I thought the stress finally caught up to me. I thought I was like that person in the hot, hot desert dying of thirst and imagining an oasis. Between my body's shock of several days of consistent exercise, no sugar, and what had to be off the charts blood pressure thanks to my Houdini dog I was convinced I was creating magical happy place hallucinations. Then I heard, "MOMMMY! Why are you staring at us all weird looking? Stop it!" It was then I realized what I was seeing was real and it was what most of the world must see on nightly basis...normal! I thought I'd document it so I can refer back to it from time to time when I start to doubt it really happened. Here in lies the inherent difference between myself and Bob. I told him the story and he was all GREAT, Nick must be cured and I'm all, what a fabulous gift tonight was. Sure hope we get another night like this before Spring. We balance each other that way. OH, what was actually going on that startled me so...a big brother helping a younger brother with homework and the younger brother letting go of his resentment towards big brother long enough to accept the help.