One of THOSE days

After a beautiful morning of soccer we stopped at Target. Oh you could see the anticipation in their eyes. Poor things thought I might be surprising them with a toy purchase. To their dismay we ended up in the cleaning supply isle. Why are we here their little defeated minds asked. Well I said, I need some new cleaning supplies because I am sick of the dust 3 inches thick on the lights and ceiling fan. Plus I want a new mop for the hardwoods and...then Nick so politely interrupted me by saying, OK Mommy, we get it. It's going to be one of THOSE days. I just quietly finished gathering my supplies and proceeded to check out. What I wanted to do though was yell,  YES, IT IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS! I woke up and didn't know which chin to say good morning to and some how my jeans shrunk and cleaning makes me feel better Mr. Smarty Pants! Then I felt guilty for having that thought and let them get slushies.

And the funnies keep on going...

Oh Universe, you are HYSTERICAL!!! Here's a short re-cap of my last 24 hrs...
1. ran to Target last night for needed school supply and let Houdini dog out of kennel since he opens it anyway. came home to find 2 burners on my stove on because he apparently could smell the ridiculously small dried up amount of chili and thought he would heat himself up a little snack.

2. woke at 3am to SCREAMS on my deck. Sherman the naughty cat must have escaped one of the millions of times Houdini dog opened kitchen door to let himself in and was being beaten alive by some evil cat.

3. watched riveting t.v. on TV Land, finally fell back asleep somewhere in the 5-6am time frame, slept through my 6:45am alarm and woke in a panic at 7:15.

4. in kindest tone I could muster SCREAMED at boys to PLEASE(that makes the screaming o.k.) get dressed and come down for breakfast-which just to add to my Mom guilt tank they did without one complaint. Damn good kids.

5. Rush said darling angels through breakfast, vitamins, teeth brushing, lunch packing and we are in the car by 7:55. I should have known where my day was headed not only by how cooperative they were being but by how unusually calm Houdini dog was for the ride.

6. We hit some slow traffic, couldn't get upset since we've gone almost an entire month of easy travel. Arrived at school 8:27 and guess what...TWO HOUR DELAY!!! Yep, you know that day they gave you a slip of paper about the first week of school right when all hell was breaking loose in my house...so what to do. Long drive home or stick around. I've got dog with no collar on and no leash in car thanks to someone that removed it and didn't put it back(won't mention names). I have on a lovely outfit of 2 feet too long bell bottom yoga pants, tye dyed peace sign t-shirt and some fabulous I've been sick so kiss it greasy hair...decided the only option was of course to go to Wal-Mart.

7. Wal-mart. park, roll down windows for dog, lock car and start in. 10 steps later howling from dog but keep walking. hear one of those "oh my" from a stranger and just know it's about my dog so I turn. Cooper is half in car and half hanging out of car. Perfectly coiffed hair mom with child in full no germ is going to get from this cart to my child is glaring at me. I hold my head a tad higher than it should be held, avoid the urge to say something to judgy pants and march back to my car with two boys that are still being waaaaaay to nice.

8. release dog, make windows higher so he can't squeeze through and give dog a lecture about how sorry I am, that I know it's no fun but it's really out of my control at this point. I feel a little hand on my shoulder and Nick says," Mommy, you do realize you are talking to a dog"...I finally just laugh and thank both boys for not once complaining and they each said it was no big deal, we make mistakes and we think it's kind of funny. Huh, guess maybe I have taught them a thing or two. Now where's my Ritalin???

Darth Vader

Being a Mom when you are sick absolutely sucks. No way around it, it sucks. Being a Mom when you are sick and your husband travels constantly sucks even more. What's incredible is having a 9 year old tell you that you are breathing like Darth Vader and kick into gear to help. He knows all the steps we go through when someone is sick so he got right to it. Ginger-ale, check. 8 million tissues, check. Vick's, check. Favorite blanket, check. Off to bed he sends me offering to watch his brother until Daddy got home.( even though I had to hang up on a friend a few moments earlier because said child was going to attack darling little brother) Luckily Bob's flight was early and he was home by 5:30.
 Now the 6 year old...he's on an entirely different nurturing level. First it was...NO WAY IS MY DUMB BROTHER GOING TO GET ME A SNACK, I ONLY LIKE THE BANANA THE WAY YOU PEEL IT! HE PEELS IT TOO FAST!...Then, Nick being the ever clever child told Parker who happened to lose his first tooth today that if refused kindness the tooth fairy wouldn't come. Parker fell for it and Nick proceeded to set up crafts for them to do with Bob. Nice messy crafts for Daddy-hee, hee, hee! Parker painted a lovely clock for his room and Nick is working on making a solar system model out of paper mache. Now I am going to shut my lap top off, add a fresh layer of Vick's and laugh my ass off watching Bridesmaids again.

Whew, it's just normal

Tonight I thought the stress finally caught up to me. I thought I was like that person in the hot, hot desert dying of thirst and imagining an oasis. Between my body's shock of several days of consistent exercise, no sugar, and what had to be off the charts blood pressure thanks to my Houdini dog I was convinced I was creating magical happy place hallucinations. Then I heard, "MOMMMY! Why are you staring at us all weird looking? Stop it!" It was then I realized what I was seeing was real and it was what most of the world must see on nightly basis...normal! I thought I'd document it so I can refer back to it from time to time when I start to doubt it really happened. Here in lies the inherent difference between myself and Bob. I told him the story and he was all GREAT, Nick must be cured and I'm all, what a fabulous gift tonight was. Sure hope we get another night like this before Spring. We balance each other that way. OH, what was actually going on that startled me so...a big brother helping a younger brother with homework and the younger brother letting go of his resentment towards big brother long enough to accept the help.

oh the great outdoors

My husband, bless his heart, is a unique breed.  Bob can be somewhat of an obsessive compulsive. Not in the things need to be clean and organized sort of way-definitely not in that way! In the gets absorbed in things sort of way. Fishing, hunting, fishing, running, fishing, camping, fishing...you get my point. Currently he is consumed by camping. The thrill of finding an off the beaten path site, all the amazing new gadgets... This man can read about gear for hours on end. HOURS on end people! For the past two weeks UPS has made almost daily stops at our house with new goodies from Sierra Trading Post and what they didn't deliver he brought home from trips to Cabella's and Gander. Are you seeing what I mean yet? Today was the big day. Camping trip with our two boys plus a friend. They each were required to carry their own belongings to the campsite. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Bob estimated it to be about 1 1/4 miles. So probably closer to 2 miles as he tends to be an under estimator. When the boys put their packs on...well, at some point all three of them fell backwards! It was like the hiking version of that poor kid in the Christmas movie overdressed in the snowsuit. They were flapping on the ground like flipped over bugs! Oh how I would have loved to be able to witness the walk in. I wonder how many times they stopped. How many times my children, especially the youngest swore his legs were not going to be able to take another step. Oh well, this is the stuff great childhood memories are made of and I love my OCD husband for giving my boys and their friend this opportunity, and most importantly, me some peace and quiet.

One journey ends and another begins

We have been on a very long 5 year journey. The past 5 days of this journey have been almost unbearable. But we made it through and now we begin a new journey. A journey of letting go, of forgiving ourselves for not always making the best parenting decisions and most importantly a journey of healing. We finally got ourselves in front of a doctor and team that understood Nick immediately. Yes we knew he had Tourette syndrome but there was always something else. Doctor to doctor, therapist to therapist we went. Year after year. All the right "assumptions" were being thrown around but no one would commit because of this or that. Mainly they thought he was simply "too bright". Well turns out you can be extremely gifted and have Asperger's syndrome and Tourette syndrome. Who knew? I did. But don't us Mom's always know. Of course I didn't want to believe it and for years have given every excuse I could think of why it couldn't be so. I think in time I'll forgive myself. I know if I would have "jumped" on previous suggestions of Asperger's I could have gotten help for Nick sooner. I'm just trying to believe it took as long as it did because we were supposed to get in front of one of the leading experts in the field. So that's where we are and we couldn't have made it this far with out all the love and support of family and friends. Some friends I have lost but I'm still grateful for the time they were there to offer a shoulder to cry on or a supportive hand. For those friends/family that have stuck by us through the good and the bad I have no proper words. Thank you does not seem enough. Especially those of you that came to the rescue these past few days. We are so blessed to have such fabulous and selfless people in our lives. We love you all!

Hallelujah Chorus

requested breakfast of eggs and apple slices

ready to go!

they were so annoyed by this point!

My school bus cake I made all by myself-don't look close

Today was the first day of 4th and 1st grade in our house. This is the first time I have ever had both children in an actual school and the same one! I could hardly sleep last night. It was worse than Christmas morning! You see, I LOVE my children, I LOVE summer and I LOVE spending time with them but I also LOVE the start of school. I am not like the norms. It's true that I can't believe how old they are, how big they've gotten and how fast the time has gone but I will not be boo-hooing about how sad I am to have summer come to an end. I am rejoicing and the Hallelujah chorus is playing in my head! School time is here!

Go Fasters

Today the boys and I headed to a track by our house to break in our new "go Fasters". On the way I made the boys decide how many laps we were going to run. I'm trying to work on their goal setting and follow through. Not mine of course(lie). We decided on 10 laps and hit the dirt. By turn one I was cursing myself for not bringing my iPod to drown out the whining in my head. I mean the boy's complaints. Somewhere around lap 1200 or 5 I heard screaming. I turned assuming I'd see two boys fighting in the gravel...to my surprise I saw two boys jumping and cheering for ME! What?!? I heard, "go Mommy go!" "there's smoke coming off your shoes!" Oh the sweet joy of childhood imagination. Thanks to the dust from the gravel I was for just a moment my boy's hero...for a fleeting moment. Then it was back to, "you're not really going to make us do ALL ten." Oh silly little boys...

Heard

Sometimes I wish I didn't have supersoncic hearing. I can't even blame it on being a Mom. I've always had an annoyingly sharp ability to hear conversations. Today on our way home from a fabulous day at the movies we were rockin' out to Pit Bull (did I mention I'm a stellar Mom) when I overheard the following..."Nick, what does it mean to grab somebody sexy, what's sexy?" Reply, "you know when we watch Scooby-doo, Daphne is sexy. Velma is not. And I think it means you wear that stuff we saw at Target." Nothing like a big brother to explain life.

Two things about that conversation

1. more often than not my children say I'm a Velma

2. I've always been able to sleep guilt free telling myself kids don't really hear the words to songs...I am not, will not, and can not listen to Kidz Bop.

Silver lining?

You know that saying about every dark cloud has a silver lining? I hate that saying. I hate it like I hate when people say God doesn't give more than we can handle.

Am I supposed to think that even though my son repeatedly banged his head against a car window, screamed and cried saying he wished he was dead I'm somehow lucky that it's not worse?

What am I supposed to say when he asks why him?

I realize I am inordinately blessed to have him. He can walk and talk and say I love you. He is physically healthy.

But my heart breaks for him. I am incredibly angry that he does not get to be "normal". He can't eat all the things you want as a nine year old. He can't control when his body is going to move. He can't handle crowds or commotion without anxiety. He can't be happy go lucky and that is what more than anything pisses me off. Every child deserves to be happy go lucky.

Morning air

In 2001 my father-in-law had a quadruple by-pass and has been walking everyday since. When we are in Pittsburgh I always enjoy joining him. Today I encouraged my husband to come as he always passes planning to run later in the day. It's nice to have the time with Pappy. He chats about the area and stories of days gone by. Today was a 5 mile walk up some rather cruel Pittsburgh hills...I think my hubs is glad I talked him into spending time walking in the morning air with his Daddy-O.


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Selfless acts

Tonight one of my besties reminded me of what it means to be selfless. We (at her encouragement) went to the Ausherman fun run in Waynesboro. I ran the warm-up mile with her. Now this is my Boston qualifying friend. My 2 mile jog equals her 1/2 mile. Anyway she stayed with me, came back for me and crossed with me. She didn't care that everyone would see the ridiculous time. She only cared that I did it. She was the same when her and her kids plus my Nick ran the next mile. She was there purely for the joy of health and encouraging a friend, a friend's kid and her own family. Thanks Amy- Nick is still holding his ribbon ;-). I may even get up in the morning to run or jog or walk.





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Robot

He slept until noon then built a robot.






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S'mores

Enjoying Summertime with friends


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At a loss for words

I wish there was a chip implanted in my 6 year old's brain that I could download information from at the end of the day. He has always been a rather unique child. Tonight as I walked outside to ask him to stop using the lawn sprinklers as a rocket launcher I discovered a suspicious liquid on the garage floor. It was pee! He saw me and said, "what? I wanted to see what would happen." What did he think was going to happen?!? I was at a loss for words.


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Taylor

So Taylor came to live with us for the summer!!! I think the universe knew I was just about to lose what sanity I had if I didn't get help. I confess that my husband's CONSTANT travel schedule and Nick's struggles have finally broken me. Anyway, she arrived on June 8th and we couldn't be happier. I think her body is missing Mississippi though because she is in bed with a fever and had the throwie uppies...no fun. But we'd rather have a sick Taylor over no Taylor. Very grateful for the time we have with her. I promise to post happy, non-sick pics soon ;-) and be sure to ask her all about the Braves if you see her- she loves to talk baseball- lol!!!


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Disappointment

When I was a kid I used to say I'd rather have have a whoopin' then a lecture. To me there was nothing worse then knowing someone was disappointed in me. Apparently the same holds true for Nick. Yesterday he refused to go to a rather intense soccer camp that he chose to do at Dickinson College and I layed on the parental lecture of not quitting, you gotta dig deep...follow that with a day of chores, no tv or video games and you get this...a kid who is up before you, dressed and has muffins ready to be put in the oven. I almost feel bad- almost.


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Blue Poop

I try to be the food police in my house. I have a goal this summer of getting away from all things processed. For now I try to offer as many gluten free, preservative free, dye free foods as I can. A child attending public school makes this task difficult. Although the nation's schools are in an overhaul to fight childhood obesity, the school my son attends thinks it's appropriate to give out gobs and gobs of candy for playing learning games on an almost daily basis. Clearly that's something I have a problem with but the list of things I struggle with in our school system is so long that one will have to wait for now. Back to my point.  I was outside watering the flowers when the door flung open. I looked and could see no face for all I could see was a giant mouth and that squiggly thing that dangles at the back. Epiglottis I think it may be called. I thought, here we go. Tattle tell central. But to my surprise and my neighbors delight I hear, " Mooooommmmmmmmm! Parker just pooped and it's BLUE! Should I call 911?"

At first I was annoyed knowing that it is all the dye from said candy but then I decided to be grateful. Thank you Blue number whatever because thanks to your pointless existence we may have our first evening in weeks that doesn't end on a, " is it too early for boarding school note". I kid-sort of...

Open for the season

Today was the first day in a verrrrrrrrrrrry long time that the sun was out for an entire day. The boys both had soccer games. After the games, my hubs was kind enough to take them to a birthday party so I could have a little break. Cooper and I headed to Shippensburg with a sample of our pool water...it was just about spot on so we got the go ahead...Open for the season! Needless to say when the pumpkins returned from a day out with Big Daddy it was only minutes before they were in the water. The water was a balmy 72...brrrrrrrrrr! We promptly turned the heater on!

Sometimes I wish I could videotape an entire day

 Today was a superdooperliscious day! It was sunny and warm. Nick was oh so cooperative during school...even asked to work on his book report after I told him he could be done. (Looking back I should have expected his later explosions). We took Cooper for a walk; Nick rode his bike. When we returned from our walk Nick asked me why my feet were all cracked. (lovely, I know) I wanted to say it was because it's hard being Cinderella but instead I told him it was due to the lack of pedicures in my life. I saw this light bulb go off and I was asked to wait outside. When I was allowed back in the house...well, it was just the best darn surprise! For those of you that know me, you know I have a magazine addiction. I gave up magazines for Lent so I am over the moon they are back in my life! Anyway, I saw this "top-secret" pull out for Mother's day and pulled it out. I casually placed it on the kitchen island to see if anyone would take the bait. Turns out my little man did. I came inside to a 2 part foot bath and a spa snack. Sometimes having a child with PDD/tourettes is just the cutest darn thing because these kids are even more serious and "black and white" than most. To hear him describe the foot bath and ask me if I felt it " was really exfoliating because it said in the directions it would and if not then we should tell someone that they are telling a lie and by the way Mommy, what does exfoliating mean". He did this to be sweet but he also did it because the way his mind works is- there is a problem, I know a solution so I do it. There are no words for how full my heart was at that moment.  Next it was off for some errands where I found a little "conversation" seating set for our deck and the store let me take it out of the box to fit it in my car. Boy oh boy were they smirking behind my back. They totally thought I was crazy. Little did they know my little green box is a machine! I didn't mean to do it but I busted out a "Ha! Ha!" when I had both chairs, ottomans, and table in said green machine. After the guy helping me stopped laughing he admitted he thought he'd be taking it all back into the store. Next we picked up Parks from school and surprised him with a trip for ice-cream. Cooper got his first puppy sundae and LOVED it!!! We came home and the boys played transformers which quickly turned ugly. For a brief second I was scared I wasn't going to be able to get Nick safely away from the situation before he hurt his brother or himself but I did and after a supervised cool down period it was time to head back outside before the storm came. It always amazes me how forgiving Parker is with Nick. Trust me, the boy can hold a grudge but the turn around time for playing again is utterly unbelievable to me. I can't begin to understand how Nick's constant companion affects him. I was glad it started to rain so they didn't know I was crying watching them chase each other with bubbles.

 step one of the foot bath

 step two...he even picked fresh flower petals

the spa snack

bubble wars

the new seating arrangement

the puppy sundae

Wanna play

My little laid back puppy dog was only laid back because he was ill. After a day of IV therapy at the Vet and a solid night of sleeping he was very much ready to play today! Play meaning: chew on the cabinents, dig for grubs, chew through the strap on my bag, push the mulch aside and rip the lining up...I wouldn't have it any other way! ( ask me that in a week)

Catch up

Spring soccer season is in full swing however mother nature has not been cooperative. Almost every practice has been in the rain and the only game Nick's played was in pouring down rain. Parker's was canceled. Nick is number 9(blue jersey). I tried to snap some photos while holding the umbrella and cursing, I mean smiling...

this is also the weekend Bob's parents were in town. They brought their fifth wheel with them so the boys could camp. It wasn't exactly an ideal camping weekend but there was one good day and they made the most of it.

Now when I say made the most of it, I really mean, they tried as hard as they could to make me crack. I must confess I am a tad over protective of my little pumpkins. I have a friend who often says, "safety is not an option". I tend to agree with her. I'm big on helmets, wrist guards. My husband is the opposite and so is his family. Now the irony here is that a Facebook friend days before posted about her husband allowing her son to mow the grass and she felt it was too soon, too dangerous...I totally agreed with her. As I read through the comments, I quickly noticed most others did not. There was one comment in particular that struck me. It was something along the lines that Dad's make our little boys into men. It struck a nerve with me. I worry about the boys getting enough "man" time as they are with me so much more because of Bob's crazy work  schedule. So I kept repeating that post over and over in my head. It became my mantra for the day. I still can't believe I made it through it without snapping. O.k., I may of snapped and declared it was enough but at least I let it happen, and more than just once. If you think I'm looking for praise...you're right.

To keep my little lumberjack's minds off of chopping more wood I suggested some hiking. We were amazed to find a bridge from one of our favorite spots washed away from all the insane rain.

Hippity, Hoppity...

We had a fantabulous Easter! The sun actually made an appearance and the showers held off until late!

We started off our day with Parker waking at the crack of dawn to see if Peter Cottontail made an appearance. I wish I could have had a camera ready to capture his face...the best part is that he was so excited because he got a new book! Peter Cottontail always brings a new book with candy and I was a little worried Parker in particular would be unhappy as this is the first year he really cared about getting a basket. As is so often the case, I was more than pleasantly surprised.

here's the goods for all three of my children...

After the baskets were thoroughly inspected we got ready and headed up to my Mom and Dennis' for the day. The boys loved playing with their cousins, Cooper enjoyed being spoiled by everyone and I loved watching my ridiculously adorable twin nieces.

Ahh, relaxing...

In preparation for our new puppy we decided to take a quick little family trip to Rocky Gap Resort. Yes, I know this is out of order but as usual I am behind.

We didn't tell the boys we were going away. In fact we stretched it out as long as we could. We pretended we overslept and ran around like maniacs getting Parker ready for school. We "forgot" to feed him breakfast forcing us to drive quickly to Dunkin Donuts so he wasn't starving. Then Bob pretended he was thinking about needing to get something from Sam's Club and "accidentally" got onto 81. Oh the boys were completely freaking out. Nick, our little rule follower, was thinking we were going to get in serious trouble for Not getting Parker to school on time. Parker was loving it. He was all for it as long as it got him out of kid writing. Finally when one too many exits had been "missed" for a turn around we told them. It was wide eye admiration. For just an instant, we were THE COOLEST parents around.

When they saw the resort from the highway it was all, "this is going to be totally awesome!" Turns out it was awesome. We rented bikes, hiked, went to the aviary, enjoyed the indoor pool. I would like to say it was all delightful but in between all of these activities were many tears, and full blown temper tantrums! Bob and I looked at each other several times and thought-SERIOUSLY! I must say there are times when I wish we were like that old commercial where people had pop up bubbles above their heads. I know I shouldn't care. It's just sometimes I want to shout, "he's really a super sweet and sensitive boy. he doesn't want to be this difficult. he doesn't want to have tourettes and ocd and pdd and all the quirks that go with it. please don't judge him." It's just that protective Mama Bear and I don't think there's a darn thing I can do about it.

But all in all it was a fantastic trip, the boys can't stop talking about going back...next time though, I'll be sure to book a relaxing spa treatment...

Where's my ball?